31 today

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Birthday girls

I’m 31 today. My birthday comes the day after Sophie’s. Last week, she asked me if I would be making myself a birthday cake and I told her I thought I would never make myself a birthday cake again! The weekend celebrating our beautiful daughter’s birthday was wonderful. And exhausting. So this rainy Monday morning I’ve taken myself off – alone – to a café for some peace and quiet. Not that it’s quiet in here. It’s buzzing. But I don’t hear it.

When I told Nick I wanted to spend time alone on my birthday, he looked at me strangely and said he couldn’t think of anything worse than spending his birthday alone! (Note: I’m not spending it alone. It’s just for an hour or two. After that I’ll go home, we’ll have lunch, and later we’ll go to a farm for family fun.)

I kind of feel bad for wanting to be alone on my birthday, but really, it’s not that strange. When you are a stay-at-home mum, the thing you crave most of all is time. Time to yourself. Time to think. Time to do things you want to do. Time to just be your own person. Even when both my children took daily naps, that time didn’t ever really feel like time to myself. The thing is, when your children are napping, and the house is quiet, you aren’t really all your own, because you don’t know when they will wake, and you can’t leave the house anyway. You’re tied. I’m not saying I resent this. On the contrary, I love being a stay-at-home mum. But today, on my birthday, I wanted an hour or two of headspace. A little headspace away from the hectic and chaotic and brilliant everyday.

And when an hour alone in a cafe looks like this, who wouldn’t?

Yes, that is brioche French toast with charred peaches, mascarpone, honeycomb and buckwheat. If your mouth is watering, it should be. Best. French. Toast. Ever. (Thanks, Tradewind!)

Thank you, Lord, for 31 years. What will the coming year hold? My prayer is that I’ll be a beacon of light and love to those around me, and be a faithful servant of Christ, running the race with endurance, gratitude, and joy.

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